In the wide crazy world of dating, as a young Filipina I often find myself wondering if I should keep dating Filipino guys or look more into men of other ethnicity's due to the unsuccessful relationships in the past. Though I've met a lot of great guys who aren't Filipino, I often wonder if they are actually into me or if they're just drawn to my Filipina look & nature. I get just about the same response from African-American, Korean, Irish, Japanese and Mexican guys when I tell them I'm Filipina. "How exotic, you must be a good cook. You can be my Filipina Queen." Are you serious? Exotic, really? Am I supposed to appreciate that comment and thank him kindly for perceiving me that way? Or should I be offended because some pervert things I'm going to 'love him long time?' Frankly, I don't quite understand- let alone know how to feel about a comment like that unless I ask the guy in specific context.
I asked some of my guy friends who are Filipino and not Filipino between the ages of 23 and 28, why guys of other ethnicity's would think that Filipina's are viewed as "Exotic." There's a slight difference with my friends and the guys I've met who feel Filipinas are exotic. My friends are constantly around Filipina's because of their neighbor or family, so their inside views are pretty mellow. They believe that these men think that foreign is the same term as exotic, Filipina's are hot thus they are exotic, the Eurasian state of mind usually comes into play, brown skin is as good as brown rice, or they just simply aren't normally around Filipina's as often and probably live in a city the size of a box. Being the type of friends I have, the guy must be a douche bag and they wouldn't want to see me dating a guy with that type of head on his shoulders.
That still didn't help me understand why we Filipina's are claimed to be exotic, until another situation came up at work. While helping out a white male in his late 30's, he asked me if I was Chinese. I'm so used to that question because people just want to know if I'm Asian and always tell them I am not. After I replied with a no, he proceeded to ask me the next question descriptively. He asked if I was Filipina then stated "you must be Filipina because you have that exotic look." His wife is Mestiza, which is a mix of Spanish and Filipina. He said that his wife had small Asian looking eyes, jet black hair and full ample lips like me. His knowledge on the regions of the Spanish invasion and why the Asian and Spanish look seems exotic was feasible. He seemed harmless and not so much of a douche bag, so I didn't feel offended.
I googled "why men think that Filipina's are exotic." I found an article that had exotic and oriental beauty as the first reason on the list of "8 reasons why white men love Philippines women."
#1- exotic and oriental beauty
#2- fun to be with
#3- good characteristics and personalities all rolled into one petite package
#4- taught how to do house chores and how to properly manage a household
#5- value their relationships and they are very loyal
#6- put their family first above everything else
#7- their skills in handling money
#8- smart and well educated
I know many Filipina women who may get offended when men say "Filipinas are exotic" because they think these men are trying to solely categorize us as just sexy and alluring Asian women. From my open minded point of view, I believe that these men are not trying to talk down to you as a foreign woman, but are putting us up on a pedestal. Men in general aren't always the greatest at expressing why they want to be with a certain type of woman. They can be vague or so descriptive to the point that it makes me say "good luck finding her buddy!" Beautiful is a much appreciated and wonderful word to use. The next time a guy tells me that I look like an exotic Filipina, I'll correct him right away and use the word beautiful to throw him onto the right track and shift that train of thought.